مسکن / مختصر / نویں سال کا خدا —از— محمد زبیر مظہر پنوار

نویں سال کا خدا —از— محمد زبیر مظہر پنوار

نویں سال کا خدا

حسب معمول سویرے آٹھ بجے ناشتہ کرنے بعد میں نے کلینک کا رخ کیا ۔۔ گلی کی پہلی نکڑ کی دائیں طرف تیسرا گھر ” وہ گھر جو میرے لیے کبھی مسجد مندر درگاہ ہوا کرتا تھا۔۔۔۔
ایک وقت تھا کہ میں اسی نکڑ کی دائیں طرف تیسرے گھر کے گلی کی طرف کھلنے والے لوہے کے دروازے کی کنڈی یوں کھٹکائے  دیوڑھی میں کھڑا رہتا جیسے کوئی مندر کی چوکھٹ پہ لگی گھنٹی پہ دستک دیئے مندر میں موجود دیوی کے بت کی توجہ حاصل کرنے کے واسطے اپنی سبھی من و کامنائیں پیش کرتا ہے ۔۔ جب رات ہوتی تو وہی دروازہ میرے لیے درگاہ بن جاتا ۔ میں کبھی مراقبے کرتا اور کبھی دروازی کے کنڈی پہ دھاگہ یا ڈوری باندھ دیتا ۔۔ کبھی سرخ کبھی سیاہ کبھی سبز اور کبھی سفید جیسی مراد ہوتی ویسی ڈوری یا دھاگہ ۔۔۔ وہ ان دھاگوں کو صبح نور پیر ویلے دیکھتی ۔۔۔ کال کرتی اور مسکراتی ۔۔ اسکی آواز سرسوتی کے سر سے ہرگز کم نہیں تھی اور سراپا حسن ” میرے لیے تو اندر کا جمال تھا ۔۔ عجب طلسماتی شخصیت تھی وہ ۔۔کہ  ہر روپ و رنگ جیسے اسی کے واسطے بنایا گیا تھا ۔۔ کبھی کبھی تو مجھے یوں لگتا گویا کائنات کا حسن ایک وہی تو ہے ۔۔ پھر سوچتا نہیں نہیں ساری دنیا کا رنگ اسی کی بخشش ہے اور اسی کے مرہون منت ہے ۔۔ اسلیے وہ میری منتوں مرادوں کو کبھی رد نہیں کرتی ” مجھے اپنی خاص کرامات سے نواز دیتی ہے ۔۔۔ میں ایک سچا بھگت بھی تھا اور مجاور بھی تو کیسے ممکن تھا کہ وہ میری جھولی نہ بھرتی ۔۔
جب کبھی مجھ سے وہ ناراض ہوتی تو میں جھک کر سجدا کیے دیتا ۔۔ پر کہاں ” وہ جلدی کہاں مانتی  تھی ۔۔ ہاں مگر تھوڑی سی سزا مجھے ضرور ملتی ۔۔۔ تھوڑی سی اسلیے کہ کم ہی سہی مگر محبت خلد سے زمین تک جزاء و سزا سے مبرا تو نہیں تھی ۔۔۔ سزا کے دوران مجھ پہ عزاب ہوتا اور بے حساب ہوتا ۔۔ حساب ایسا کہ میں خود کو طرح طرح کی سزائیں دینے لگتا ۔۔ پھر جب میں تھک جاتا تو کسی فقیر مجزوب درویش کی طرح جھولی پھیلائے جاتا ۔۔ میری سسکیاں ہوتی آہ و بکار ہوتی ۔۔۔ خدا کے نام پہ تم ” ہاں تم ۔۔ فقط تم ۔۔۔ جانتی نہیں خدا ہو میرا تم ۔۔
میں اس سے اکثر کہا کرتا کہ” شرک سے تو میں کب کا باز آ چکا البتہ واجبات اور کوتاہیوں پہ میں  ایک دن ضرور قدرت پا لوں گا ۔۔ خدایا مجھ پہ اپنا در بند مت کرو ۔۔ مجھے بندگی کرنے دو اور جی بھر کر کرنے دو۔۔۔
پھر وقت نے پلٹی کھائی سالوں کا سفر محض پل میں ختم  ہو چکا تھا ۔۔
میں نہیں جانتا کہ اس وقت خدا کے نام پہ میں اس سے کیا مانگا کرتا تھا ” جبکہ میرا خدا تو وہی تھی ۔۔ منت مراد عبادت سب کچھ ایک وہی تو ہوا کرتی تھی ۔۔۔
کتنا عجیب تھا وہ وقت ” کہ میرے دو خدا ہوا کرتے تھے ۔۔ ایک وہ خدا جو زمین و آسمان کا اکلوتا مالک و خالق ہے مگر  میں نے اسے کبھی دیکھا نہیں ۔۔ اور دوسرا خدا زمین پہ ” جو کہ پانچ مرلے کے مکان میں اپنے ماں باپ بھائی بہنوں کے ساتھ مقیم تھا۔۔۔
میں مشرک تھا یا مومن ؟ ۔۔  مجھے نہیں معلوم ” مگر یہ بھی سچ ہے کہ میں ایک کٹر مزہبی انسان ضرور تھا ۔۔
وہ آٹھ سال ۔۔۔ دو خدا ۔۔ ڈر ۔ خوف ۔۔ درد ہاں درد ” اسکے علاوہ خود کے متعلق کافر ہونے کا گمان ۔۔۔ مزید بڑھ کر در بہ در ہونے کا ڈر اور خوف ۔۔۔ ایک دن وہی ہوا جسکا ڈر تھا ۔۔ گمان پہ یقین غالب آیا اور میں اسکی نظر میں کافر بن چکا تھا ۔۔
لوگ کہتے ہی تھا ں کہ عشق کفر کی اور بندگی کی پہلی سیڑھی ہے ۔۔ اگر وہ عشق تو میں آج خود کو کیسے معاف کروں ۔۔۔ دونوں خداؤں کی نظر میں” میں ہی کافر میں ہی مشرک اور  لوگوں کی کے نزدیک میں ہی بے دین ۔۔۔ مگر مجھے اس بات کی پرواہ نہیں ۔۔۔ خیر سے جو بویا تھا وہی کاٹا ۔۔۔۔ بے ہوشی یا ہوش سے مجھے مجھے سروکار ہی کب تھا کیونکہ میرے بس میں کچھ بھی تو نہیں تھا ۔۔ لفظ ( کن ) تھا ۔۔ جس نے ہزار داستانوں کی ایک داستان بنا دی تھی  ۔۔۔
اور ایک میں تھا مسلسل آٹھ سال تک یہی سوچتا رہا کہ آخر کیوں عشق میں انسان اذیت اور درد کا شکار رہتا ہے  ۔۔ اذیت ایسی کہ جس کی تپش دوزخ کی آگ کی طرح ہوتی ہے جسکے مقدر میں ٹھنڈا پڑنا نہیں ۔۔ بھڑکنا اور جلانا ہی مقصود ۔۔۔
آخر یہ عشق ”  آنکھوں کے ہی راستے سمندر کی طرح کیوں بہتا ہے ۔۔ پھر سوکھتا بھی تو نہیں ؟
بڑا ہی عجیب ہے اس سمندر کا پانی  ۔۔ ایک ہی ذائقہ اور وہ ذائقہ کیا ” کھارا مطلب کڑوا نمکین ۔۔۔ آخر اسکو پینے کی ہمت یا جرت کیونکر کسی میں نہ ہو سکی  ۔۔۔۔ یہ سمندر کا حسن ہے یا طاقت ” منجمند نہیں ہوتا ۔۔ جانتا ہے تو صرف بہنا  ۔۔۔ کیوں اسکا کنارہ  نہیں ۔۔ پھر گہرائی ایسی کہ اندازہ لگانا بھی تو ممکن نہیں ۔۔ کیا میں اکیلا ہی اس میں تیرتا رہوں ۔۔۔ اسکے ساتھ بہتا رہوں ۔۔ کہ جہاں جدھر بہائے لے جائے ۔۔ لہروں سے ٹکرانے کے باوجود بہتا رہوں ۔۔  آخر کب تلک ۔۔۔
جبکہ سمندر عشق کے آگے میری اوقات ہی کیا ہے ۔۔ میں تو ایک عام انسان ہوں ” مگر یہ جو سمندر ہے ۔ یہ تو تپتے سورج کو بھی ڈبو جاتا ہے ۔۔۔ ہاں شاید مجھے بھی ڈوبنا ہو گا ۔۔۔۔ اس لیے میں نے بھی اپنے تئیں ڈوبنے کی کوشش کی۔۔۔  اسی دوران میرا یقین مزید پختہ ہو گیا کہ عشق ہی خدا ہے ۔۔ عشق زندہ رہتا ہے  مگر بندہ ڈوب جاتا ہے ۔۔۔۔ میرے قدم ڈگمگائے پھر میں نے سوچا  ” کیوں نا ” میں ڈوبنے سے بچ جاؤں اور خدا سے مکر جاؤں ؟
مگر کہاں ” نا تو مجھ سے ڈوبا گیا اور نہ ہی مجھ مکرا جا سکا ۔۔
دو ماہ ہونے کو ہیں واپس اسی شہر میں ہوں ۔۔
چند برس پہلے میری اسکے ساتھ نسبت طے پا گئی تھی۔۔ ہماری محبت تین سال چلی چوتھے سال اسی محبت نے ایک رشتے کو جنم دیا ۔۔ رشتہ کیا تھا نسبت طے پا جانا ۔۔۔
لیکن یہ کیا ” میرے لیے جو پہلے کبھی مندر مسجد درگاہ ہوا کرتی تھی ۔۔ ویسا اب کچھ بھی نہیں تھا ۔۔
نہ دیوی کا درشن تھا اور پھر ضرورت بھی تو ختم ہو چکی تھی ۔۔ضرورت ” ہوتی بھی کیسے ” کچھ بھی تو باقی نہیں رہا تھا ۔۔۔
مجھے لگا کہ شاید وہ اب میرا کامل ایمان بن چکی ہے  ۔۔ کہتے ہیں کہ کامل ایمان انسان کو تہمات سے دور پرے لے جا کر کھڑا کر دیتا ہے ۔۔۔ ویسے بھی تو حاصل و لاحاصل کی جنگ بھی سرد ہو چکی تھی ۔۔۔ لہزا ڈر خوف درد اذیت کا باب ختم ہوا ۔۔
چند برس پہلے میں نے اسے چھوڑ دیا تھا ۔۔ کیونکہ میرا ماننا تھا ۔۔ خدا اور بندہ ایک نہیں ہو سکتے ۔۔۔۔
میں کوئی دیوتا نہیں تھا ۔۔ جو دیوی کو سویکار کرتا ۔۔ میں تو ایک انسان تھا ۔۔ جسے عبادت درشن اور منت کا علم تھا ۔۔۔۔۔ پھر برابری کہہ لیں یا توازن ایک ہی بات ہے ۔۔۔ توازن کہاں تھا ” سرے سے ہی غائب ۔۔۔ غلو تھا یا یقین سب کچھ پل بھر میں مٹ چکا تھا ۔۔۔
مجھے لگا کہ جب خدا ہی انسان کا روپ دھار لے تو ” عبادت منت درشن کی وقعت ہی کیا رہ جاتی ہے ۔۔۔
خیر آٹھ سال سے وہ مسلسل  میرے لیے دیوی اور خدا تھی ۔۔۔۔
آج گلی کی نکڑ کی دائیں طرف تیسرے گھر سے پھر وہی خدا نکلا ۔۔۔۔ درشن ہوا ۔۔ مگر اس بار نہ تو وہ مجھے خدا لگی نہ ہی دیوی ۔۔۔۔ یہ نواں سال تھا اور نویں سال وہ جو کبھی میرا خدا تھی آج کسی کی بندگی میں تھی ۔۔۔۔۔گھر سے نکلی اور بائیک پہ کسی شخص کے ساتھ  بیٹھ کر چلی دی ۔۔ جاتے سمے اسکی آنکھوں میں فخر اور تکبر تھا ۔۔ جیسے وہ مجھے جتلا رہی ہو”  کہ دیکھو میری بندگی ۔۔۔ اور خود کی بندگی ۔۔۔۔۔
اچانک سے میرے موبائل کی گھنٹی بجی ۔۔۔
جی کون ۔۔۔
دوسری طرف سے آواز آئی ”  آئیے آج اپنے درد میں ہمارے دانت کے درد کا علاج کیجیئے ۔
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