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کیسا حرفِ وفا ۔۔۔ از ۔۔۔ جے تیموری

کیسا حرف وفا ۔۔۔ جے تیموری

سب ایک پل کی حقیقت
سب ایک پل کا سراب
دلوں میں ترک تمنا کا حوصلہ ہو اگر
تو کیسا حرف وفا!
اور کہاں کے خواب و گلاب!!
یہ کیسے دشت ندامت میں گھِر گئے اے جاں
کہ اک تو ترکِ تمنا کا حو صلہ بھی نہیں
اور اس پہ یہ بھی قیامت
اگر ۔۔۔بفرضِ محال
تمہاری راہ سے پھرنے کا حوصلہ بھی ملے!
پلٹ کے جائیں کہاں ، گھر کا راستہ بھی ملے!!
پچھلے تین دنوں سے میں ہاسپٹل کے اس بیڈ پر پڑا ہوں ۔میری ایک ٹانگ پر پلا سٹر چڑھا ہوا ہے اور کندھے کی ہڈی میں فریکچر ہو جانے کی وجہ سے میں ایک بازو کو بھی ہلا نہیں سکتا۔ سر اور جسم کے باقی حصوں پر بھی معمولی چو ٹیں آئی ہیں اس لیے پورے جسم پر ہی کہیں نہ کہیں بینڈج موجود ہے ۔باقی سب چو ٹیں تو جلد ہی ٹھیک ہو جائیں گی لیکن ڈاکٹرز کے مطابق میری ٹانگ کی ہڈی ٹو ٹنے کی وجہ سے پلا سٹر کھلنے کے بعد بھی میرا سیدھا کھڑا رہ پا نا اب مشکل ہی تھا۔شاید زندگی بھراب مجھے ایک چھڑی کے سہارے ہی چلنا تھا۔ یہ شاک میرے لیے بہت بڑا تھا اور ابھی میں اس صدمے سے نکل بھی نہیں پایا تھا کہ مشعل نے یہ کہہ کر اپنا راستہ بدل لیا کہ وہ مجھ جیسے ادھورے انسان کے ساتھ زندگی بھر نہیں چل سکتی ۔
مشعل نے میرے ساتھ جو کچھ کیا شاید میں اسی کا مستحق تھا ۔میرے ساتھ ہو نے والا حادثہ ،مشعل کی بے وفائی یہ سزا ہی تو تھی جو مجھے عائزہ کا دل دکھانے پر ملی تھی ورنہ عادل کا اچانک مجھے اسلام آباد میں ملنا اور پھر میرا اس کے ساتھ مظفر آباد جانا اور زلزلے کا آنایہ محض اتفاق نہیں تھا ۔یہ سب کچھ تو اسی طرح لکھا گیا تھا ۔کتنی آسانی سے میں نے عائزہ سے کہہ دیا تھا کہ میں اب اس سے نہیں بلکہ مشعل سے محبت کر نے لگا ہوںایک بار بھی میں نے عائزہ کے بارے میں نہیں سو چا اور سوچتا بھی کیسے اس وقت تو مشعل میرے اعصاب پر چھائی ہوئی تھی ۔
مشعل سے میری ملاقات ایک دوست کے آفس میں ہوئی تھی۔وہ وہاں ریسیپشنسٹ تھی۔اس کی بے انتہا خوبصورتی نے مجھے پہلی ہی ملاقات میں اپنی طرف راغب کر لیا تھا اور خوبصورتی اگر دعوت دے تو دل کو بہکنے سے روکنا نا ممکن ہو جاتا ہے۔ میں بھی دل کے ہاتھوں مجبور ہو کر اکثر وہاں جانے لگا اور پھر ہماری ملا قاتیں بڑھتے بڑھتے ہر روز ہی ہو نے لگیں ۔
آج مشعل کا برتھ ڈے تھا اور میں اسے ڈنر کرانے بلےو ہےون لایا تھا ۔یہ اس کا سب سے فیورٹ ہوٹل تھا۔ ویٹر کو آرڈر لکھوانے کے بعد میں نے کوٹ کی اندرونی جیب میں ہاتھ ڈالا اور رنگ نکال کر اپنی مٹھی میں دبالی ۔
” مشعل !اپنا ہاتھ آگے کرو “
” کیوں ؟ “ اس نے حیرانی سے میری طرف دیکھا ۔
” پہلے کرو تو پھر بتاتا ہوں “
میں نے اصرار کیا تو اس نے اپنا بایاں ہاتھ آگے کر دیا۔ نرم و نازک مخروطی انگلیاں میں نے اپنے ہاتھ میں تھامیں اور دوسرے ہاتھ سے بڑے ہی پیار سے اس کی درمیانی انگلی میں ڈائمنڈ رنگ پہنا دی۔
”یہ ہماری جان کے لیے ایک چھو ٹا ساتحفہ “ میں نے بہت آہستگی سے اس کے ہاتھ پر اپنے ہو نٹ ثبت کر دئیے ۔
” شہاب !کیا کر رہے ہیں پبلک پلیس ہے ۔کچھ تو خیال کریں “ اس نے جھینپ کر اپنا ہاتھ واپس کھینچ لیا ۔
” کمال ہے ۔برتھ ڈے وش کرنے کے لیے بھی پبلک پلیس کا خیال رکھنا پڑتا ہے“ میرا لہجہ ہلکی سی ناراضی لیے ہوئے تھا۔
” اچھا اب اپنا موڈ مت خراب کریں ہمیں آپ کا گفٹ اور انداز دونوں ہی بہت پسند آئے ہیں “
اس نے میری خفگی محسوس کر کے محبت بھری نظروں سے میری طرف دیکھتے ہوئے کہا اور میں تو اس پر ویسے ہی فدا تھا ۔اس کے یوں دیکھنے پر فوراً ہی ناراضی بھلا© بیٹھا۔
”تو پھر میرا گفٹ مجھے کب مل رہا ہے؟ “ میں نے نثار ہوتی نظروں سے اس کی طرف دیکھا۔
” اتنی جلدی بھی کیا ہے ذرا انتظار کیجیےویسے بھی کہتے ہیں کہ انتظار کا ایک اپنا مزہ ہو تا ہے “
اس نے ایک ادا سے اپنے چہرے پرآئی ہوئی لٹ کو ہاتھ مار کر پیچھے کیا تو جتنی زور سے وہ لٹ ڈولی تھی، اس سے کہیں تیزی سے میرا دل دھڑکا تھا۔
” ہائے یہ انتظار کہیں ہما ری جان ہی نہ لے لے “ میرے لہجے میں حسرتیں پنہاں تھیں ۔
” تو اس کے ذمہ دار بھی تو آپ خود ہی ہیں نا اگر مجھے پہلے پتا ہو تا کہ آپ شادی شدہ ہیں تو میں کبھی آپ کی طرف قدم نہ بڑھاتی“
اس نے خفگی سے کہا ۔
” لیکن مشعل میں نے تو صرف اس لیے جھوٹ بولا تھا کہ میں تمھیں کھو نے سے ڈرتا تھا I just can’t live without you “ میں نے فوراً ہی اپنی صفائی پیش کی ۔
”جانتی ہوں لیکن میرے گھر والوں کو منانا آسان کام نہیںاور میں انھی کوششوں میں لگی ہوئی ہوں “
”اگر تم کہو تو میں بات کروں تمھارے گھر والوں سے ویسے بھی تم نے ابھی تک مجھے اپنے گھر والوںسے متعارف نہیں کروایا “
میں اس کی مشکل بھی سمجھتا تھا لیکن اپنے دل کے ہاتھوں مجبور تھا۔
” نہیں اس کی ضرورت نہیں ۔میں انھیں منا لوں گی ۔تھوڑا وقت لگے گا لیکن آخر میری ضد کے آگے وہ مجبور ہو ہی جائیں گے
آپ پریشان مت ہوں “
اس نے تسلی دیتے ہوئے کہا ۔اسی اثنا میں ویٹر نے ٹیبل پر کھانا سرو کر نا شروع کر دیا تو ہم دونوں خاموش ہو گئے۔

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میں گھر پہنچا تو امی کے کمرے کی لائٹ جل رہی تھی حالانکہ وہ جلدی سونے کی عادی تھیں اور اس وقت رات کے گیارہ بج رہے تھے۔آج میں کوئی لیکچر سننے کے موڈ میں نہیں تھا اور تا دیرمشعل کے ساتھ گزری خوبصورت شام کے حصار میں رہنا چاہتا تھا۔
لیکن امی کے جاگتے ہوئے ان سے ملے بغیر اپنے کمرے میں چلے جانا مناسب نہیں تھا اس لیے نہ چاہتے ہوئے بھی میں ان کے کمرے میں چلا آیا ۔عائزہ کوان کے پاس بیڈ پر بیٹھے دیکھ کر میں ایک پل کے لیے دروازے میں ہی رک گیا ۔ اس کی ہنسی کی آواز نے میرے قدم خود بخود ہی روک لیے تھے ۔آج نجانے کتنے دنوں بعد میں نے اسے یوں ہنستے ہوئے دیکھا تھا ورنہ وہ تو میرے سامنے اکثر چپ چاپ ہی رہتی تھی۔ اس کی آنکھوں میں بے شک ہزاروں سوال مچلتے نظر آتے لیکن لب اکثر خاموش ہی رہتے تھے۔
” السلام علیکم امی ! “ میں نے کمرے میں قدم رکھتے ہو ئے کہا ۔میری آواز پر اس کی ہنسی ایکدم رک گئی۔
” وعلیکم السلام جیتے رہو آﺅ کچھ دیر میرے پاس بیٹھو “ امی نے اپنے نرم اور پر شفقت لہجے میں کہا تو میں انکار نہ کر سکا اور بیڈ کے پاس رکھی کر سی پر بیٹھ گیا ۔میرے بیٹھتے ہی عائزہ اٹھ کر چلی گئی ۔
” آپ کے جو ڑوں کا درد اب کیسا ہے ؟ “
” اب تو کافی بہتر ہے عائزہ روز رات کو مالش جو کرتی ہے اللہ اسے لمبی زندگی دے “
ان کے لہجے میں عائزہ کے لیے ڈھیروں پیا رتھا اور میں خوامخواہ نظریں چرانے لگا۔
”میں جب بھی عائزہ کی طرف دیکھتی ہوں تو مجھے اس میں اپنا آپ نظر آتا ہےتمھارے ابو کے گزر جانے کے بعد تمھیںاور شاہینہ کو میں نے اکیلے ہی پالا ہے اور رب کا لاکھ لاکھ شکر ہے کہ شاہینہ بھی اپنے گھر میں خوش ہے اور تمھیں بھی ایک بہترین جیون ساتھی ملا ہے وہ ایک ماں ،بہو اور بیوی کی حیثیت سے اپنی ذمہ داریاں احسن طریقے سے نبھا رہی ہے لیکن بیٹا !میں دیکھ رہی ہوں کہ دفتری کاموں میں الجھ کر تم اسے اور احمد کو نظرانداز کر رہے ہو کام کرو میں تمھیں کام سے نہیں روکتی لیکن اتنا کہ جس سے تمھاری گھریلو زندگی متاثر نہ ہو تمھاری اولین تر جیح تمھارا گھر اور یہ رشتے ہونے چاہئیں۔ امید کر تی ہوں کہ میں جو تمھیں سمجھانا چاہتی تھی تم سمجھ گئے ہو گے ویسے بھی ماشاءاللہ تم خاصے سمجھدار ہو “
انھوں نے بات اس انداز سے کی تھی کہ میں کچھ کہہ ہی نہیں پایا ، بس سر جھکائے سنتا رہا۔یہ امی کی شروع سے ہی عادت تھی انھیں جب بھی ہم دونوں بہن بھائی کو کوئی بات سمجھانی ہوتی تو اسی طرح ہمیں اپنے پاس بلا کر بٹھا لیتیں اور پھر اتنے پر شفقت انداز میں سمجھاتیں کہ نہ تو وہ ہمیں نصیحت لگتی اور نہ ڈانٹ ہی بلکہ ہم خود بخود اس بات پر عمل کر نا شروع کر دیتے ۔آج بھی ان کا انداز وہی تھا، بس میں بدل گیا تھا لیکن بچپن کی عادت اتنی پختہ ہو چلی تھی کہ میں ان سے اختلاف نہیں کر پایا بس خاموشی سے سب کچھ سن کر ان کے کمرے سے نکل آیا۔
” کھانا کھا لیں آکر “ میں اپنے کمرے میں جانے ہی والا تھا کہ عائزہ کے پکارنے پر رک گیا ۔پلٹ کر دیکھا تو وہ ڈائینگ ٹیبل پر کھانا لگا رہی تھی ۔
” میں کھانا کھا کر آیا ہوں “ میں بے رخی سے کہہ کر آگے بڑھ گیا ۔
رات کو دیر سے اور کھانا کھا کر آنا اب میں نے اپنا وتیرہ بنا لیا تھا لیکن پھر بھی وہ روزانہ مجھ سے کھانے کو ضرور پوچھتی تھی ۔اس کی یہ عادت کبھی تومجھے چڑا دیتی او رکبھی نادم کر دیا کرتی تھی لیکن ندامت کا یہ احساس بس وقتی ہو تا تھا کیوں کہ اس وقت میں پو ری طرح مشعل کی محبت میں ڈوبا ہوا تھا اور اس کے حُسنِ جہاں سوز کے آگے مجھے کچھ اور نظر نہیں آتا تھا ۔یہاں تک کہ عائزہ کی شکوہ بھری آنکھیں ، امی کا تنبیہی انداز اور احمد کی معصوم محبت بھی مجھے اپنی طرف نہیں کھینچتی تھی۔ میں تو بس سب کچھ بھلائے مشعل کی محبت میں ڈوبتا چلا جا رہا تھا ۔

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آج میں مشعل کے ساتھ شاپنگ مال میں موجود تھا ۔وہ اپنے لیے کچھ ڈریسز پسند کر رہی تھی ۔میں اسے دیکھنے کے ساتھ ساتھ کبھی کبھی ایک اچٹتی نظر اپنے آس پاس بھی ڈال لیتا تھا۔ اچانک مجھے لگا کہ میں نے عائزہ کی جھلک دیکھی ہے لیکن جب میں نے اسے ڈھونڈنے کی کوشش کی تو وہ مجھے کہیں نظر نہ آئی ۔میں اسے اپنا وہم جان کر بھی نظر انداز نہیں کر سکتا تھا کہ چاہے ایک پل کے لیے ہی سہی لیکن میںنے اسے دیکھا ضرور تھا اور پھر وہ میری بیوی تھی ،میں کم از کم اسے پہچاننے میں غلطی نہیں کر سکتا تھا ۔میں انھی سوچوں میں غلطاں ادھر ادھر دیکھ رہا تھا کہ مشعل کی آواز نے مجھے چونکا دیا ۔
” شہاب !کہاں گم ہیں آپ ۔میں اتنی دیر سے پوچھ رہی ہوں کہ یہ سوٹ کیسا لگ رہا ہے اور آپ ہیں کہ میری طرف دیکھ بھی نہیں رہے اگر آپ کا موڈ نہیں تھا تو مجھے پہلے ہی بتا دیتے ہم یہاں آتے ہی نہیں کم از کم مجھے یو ں لوگو ں کے سامنے شرمندہ تو نہ ہو نا پڑتا “ مشعل نے غصے میں ہاتھ میں پکڑا سوٹ واپس رکھا اور باہر نکلنے لگی۔
” مشعل! ایک منٹ ۔میری بات تو سن لو “ میں بوکھلا کر اس کے پیچھے گیا اور اس کا ہاتھ پکڑ کر اسے واپس لے آیا ۔
” چھوڑیں میرا ہاتھ “ اس نے ایک جھٹکے سے اپنا ہاتھ چھڑا لیا ۔
”اوکے بابا!اوکے آئی ایم سوری تم خفا مت ہو ۔چلو بتاﺅ کون سا سوٹ پسند ہے تمھیں “ میں اس کی خفگی سہہ ہی نہیں سکتا تھا، اس لیے فوراً اسے منا نے لگا ۔
” مجھے نہیں لینا کوئی سوٹ“ اس نے صاف انکار کر دیا۔
” اوکے مت لو لیکن کم از کم غصہ تو مت کرو چلو کہیں اور چلتے ہیں جیولری شاپ چلیں ؟“ میں جانتا تھا کہ جیولری اس کی کمزوری ہے لیکن آج میرا کوئی حربہ کام نہیں کر رہا تھا ۔
” میں نے کہا نا مجھے کچھ نہیں لینا بس آپ مجھے گھر چھوڑ دیں “ اس نے کسی قدر تلخ لہجے میں کہا ۔
” کم آن مشعل !میں نے سوری تو کر دیا ہے اب اور کیا چاہتی ہو “ اس کے روڈ انداز پر میرا لہجہ بھی کچھ اکھڑا ہوا سا ہو گےا تھا۔
” آپ تو یوں کہہ رہے ہیں جیسے سوری کہہ کر آپ نے مجھ پر کوئی احسان کیا ہےمیں ایسے رویوں کی عادی نہیں ….“
وہ ایک خفگی بھری نظر مجھ پر ڈال کر تیز تیز قدم اٹھاتی شاپ سے باہر نکل گئی تو ناچار مجھے بھی اس کی تقلید کر نی پڑی ۔
میں شاپنگ مال کے پارکنگ ایریا میں اپنی کار کے پاس پہنچا تو وہ بھی کار سے ٹیک لگائے وہیں کھڑی تھی ۔ایک چھوٹی سی بات کو ایشو بنا کر وہ جس طرح ناراض ہو گئی تھی اس سے مجھے بہت دکھ پہنچا تھا ۔اس کے اس روڈ انداز نے میری انا پر ایک کاری ضرب لگا ئی تھی۔ اسی لیے میں نے اسے منانے کی دوبارہ کوشش نہیں کی، خاموشی سے جاکر کار میں بیٹھ گیا اور اس کی طرف کا دروازہ بھی کھول دیا ۔ مشعل کے گاڑی میں بیٹھتے ہی میں نے کار سٹارٹ کر دی ۔سارے راستے میں نے اس سے کو ئی بات نہیں کی جبکہ وہ خود اپنے ہاتھوں کی انگلیاں ایک دوسرے میں پھنسائے کافی مضطرب نظر آ رہی تھی شاید وہ اپنے رویے پر پشیمان تھی ۔اس نے کئی بار میری طرف دیکھتے ہوئے کچھ کہنا چاہا لیکن میں نے اسے موقع ہی نہیں دیا اور انتہائی تیز رفتاری سے ڈرائیو کر تے ہوئے گا ڑی اس کے گھر کے سامنے لا کر روک دی ۔گاڑی کے ٹا ئر بہت زور سے چر چرائے تھے اور وہ بھی اپنی سیٹ پر ایک جھٹکا کھا کر رہ گئی۔
” شہاب! “ اس نے پشیمان سے لہجے میں پکارا ۔
” مشعل! بہتر ہو گا کہ ہم کل بات کریں “
میں نے اس کی آخری کوشش بھی ناکام بنا دی ۔وہ خا مو شی سے گا ڑی سے اتر گئی اور میں نے اس کی طرف دیکھے بغیر گاڑی آگے بڑھا دی ۔
آج میں خلاف معمول آٹھ بجے ہی گھر پہنچ گیا ۔عائزہ لاﺅنج میں بیٹھی ٹی وی دیکھ رہی تھی اور اس کے سامنے ہی کارپٹ پر احمد اپنے کھلونے لیے بیٹھا تھا ۔مجھے لاﺅنج میں داخل ہوتے دیکھ کر اس کے چہرے پر حیرت کا بہت ہی گہرا تا ثر ابھرا لیکن میں نظرانداز کرتا آگے بڑھ گیا ۔اسی وقت احمد نے بھی مجھے دیکھ لیا اور دوڑتے ہوئے آکر میری ٹا نگوں سے لپٹ گیا۔
” پاپا پاپا“ وہ اپنی خوشی کا اظہار کر رہا تھا لیکن اس وقت میرا مو ڈ بہت خراب تھا اسی لیے میں نے نرمی سے اسے اپنی ٹانگوں سے الگ کیا اور قدم آگے بڑھا دیئے۔
” وہ آپ کی گود میں آنا چاہتا تھا “ اچانک عائزہ نے کہا تو میں نے پلٹ کر دیکھا ۔وہ تین سالہ احمد کو گود میں لیے ہوئے تھی۔
” جانتا ہوں لیکن کیا یہ ضروری ہے کہ تم ہر بات میں مجھے ٹوکو “ میں نے کسی قدر تلخی سے کہا ۔
” کہاں کا غصہ کہاں نکال رہے ہیں غلطی کسی کی اور قصور وار ٹھہرے ہم “ وہ ایک طنزیہ نظر مجھ پر ڈال کر احمد کو لیے امی کے کمرے میں چلی گئی اور میں نظریں جھکائے اپنے کمرے میں چلا آیا۔اس کی ایک نظر نے ہی مجھے احساس دلا دیا تھا کہ شاپنگ مال میں جسے میں نے دیکھا تھا وہ میرا وہم نہیں تھا بلکہ عائزہ ہی تھی ۔

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میں شاور لیکر نکلا تو وہ بیڈ پر لیٹی احمد کو ہو لے ہولے تھپک رہی تھی ۔دو دن سے احمد بخار میں مبتلا تھا، اسی لیے اس کی طبیعت میں کچھ چڑچڑا پن سا آگیا تھا اور وہ ہر وقت عائزہ کو اپنے پاس موجود دیکھنا چاہتا تھا ۔اب بھی شاید وہ سوتے سوتے اٹھ بیٹھا تھا اور عائزہ اسے تھپک کر دوبارہ سلا رہی تھی ورنہ میری موجودگی میں وہ اب کم ہی کمرے میں نظر آتی تھی۔ خاص طور پر اس شاپنگ مال کے واقعے کے بعد سے تو انتہائی ضرورت کے علاوہ مجھ سے بات بھی نہیں کر تی تھی اور اس کی شاکی نظروں میں دیکھنے کی مجھ میں ہمت نہیں تھی۔ اس لیے میں بھی اسے نظر انداز کر رہا تھا ۔تیار ہو کر میں نے ا پنے والٹ کی تلاش میں بیڈ پر نظریں دوڑائیں تو وہ نہیں تھا ۔
” ایک تو اس گھر میں کوئی بھی چیز اپنی جگہ پر نہیں ملتی“ میں خوامخواہ غصے میں آگیا شاید یہ احساس ندامت تھا جو غصے کی صورت میں باہر آ رہا تھا ۔وہ اٹھی اور ڈریسنگ ٹیبل کے سامنے آکر کھڑی ہو گئی ۔
” چیزیں تو اپنی جگہ پر ہی ہیں لیکن شاید آپ کی نظریں بدل گئی ہیں “ اس نے ڈریسنگ ٹیبل سے والٹ اٹھا تے ہوئے ایک نظر آئینے میں پڑ نے والے اپنے عکس پر ڈالی اور دوسری مجھ پر اور پھر والٹ میری طرف بڑھا دیا ۔میں نے والٹ پکڑا تو وہ فوراََ ہی پلٹ گئی ۔
” تم مجھ سے ایک بار وہ سارے سوال کیوں نہیں پوچھ لیتی ہو جو ہر روز تمھاری آنکھیں پو چھتی ہیں “ میں نے کسی قدر چڑ کر کہا۔
اس کا یہ طنزیہ انداز مجھے بالکل پسند نہیں آیا تھا شاید اس لیے کہ یہ مجھ جیسے انا پرست مرد کی انا کو ٹھیس پہنچاتا تھا اور انا پر پڑ نے والی ضرب بہت گہری ہوتی ہے ۔
” سوال پوچھ کر کیا کروں گی جواب تو جب آپ دینا چاہیں گے، تب ہی دیں گے اور ویسے بھی اہمیت میرے سوالوں کی نہیں آپ کے جوابوں کی ہے اور میں آپ کے جوابوں کا انتظار کر رہی ہوں ۔دیکھنا چاہتی ہوں کہ وہ کیسے جواب ہوتے ہیں جو برسوں کی رفاقت کو محض سوال بنا کر چھوڑ دیتے ہیں “ اس نے پلٹ کر میری آنکھوں میں دیکھتے ہوئے کہا اور پھر فوراََ ہی کمرے سے نکل گئی ۔لیکن میں بہت دیر کھڑا ان آنکھوں کو کھوجتا رہا جو آج بہت اداس اور ادھوری سی تھیں یا شاید بہت دنوں سے۔

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آج میں بہت خوش تھا۔ مشعل کے گھر والے ہماری شادی کے لیے مان گئے تھے اور آج کی پوری شام ہم نے ساحل سمندر پر چہل قدمی کرتے اور اپنے مستقبل کی پلا ننگ کرتے گزاری تھی ۔مشعل کو گھر ڈراپ کر کے میں گھر پہنچا تو گیارہ بج رہے تھے ۔امی کے کمرے کی لائٹ بند تھی اور عائزہ صوفے پر آنکھیں موندے نیم دراز تھی ۔میرے آنے پر کھٹکے کی آواز سن کر وہ اٹھ بیٹھی ۔میں آج ہی اسے مشعل کے بارے میں سب کچھ بتا دینا چاہتا تھا ۔اس سے پہلے کہ وہ میرے لیے کھانا لگانے اٹھتی ،میں نے اسے روک دیا ۔
” عائزہ! بیٹھو مجھے تم سے کچھ بات کر نی ہے“ میں نے ذرا سنجیدہ لہجے میں کہا تو وہ دوبارہ صوفے پر بیٹھ گئی ۔میں نے ہاتھ میں پکڑا بیگ سینٹر ٹیبل پر رکھا ۔ٹائی کی ناٹ ڈھیلی کی اور دونوں ہاتھ پینٹ کی جیبوں میں ٹھونسے، اس کی طرف سے رخ موڑ کر کھڑا ہو گیا۔
”عائزہ!مجھے کسی سے محبت ہو گئی ہے “ میں نے لفظوں کو ذہن میں تر تیب دیتے ہوئے کہا۔
کچھ دیر کی خاموشی کے بعد جب عائزہ نے کوئی سوال نہیں کیا تو میں نے خود ہی بات آگے بڑھا دی ۔
” میں مشعل سے شادی کر رہا ہوں میں نے اسے تمھارے بارے میں بھی بتا دیا ہے اور اسے کوئی اعتراض نہیں ویسے تمھیں بھی فکر کر نے کی ضرورت نہیں ۔میں نے اس کے لیے علیحدہ سے فلیٹ لیا ہے اور وہ وہیں رہے گی تمھیں بتانا ضروری تھا لیکن میں چاہتا ہوں کہ امی کو اس بارے میں کچھ پتا نہ چلے تو بہتر ہے “ میں نے پلٹ کر دیکھا تو وہ پتھرائی ہوئی آنکھوں سے میری طرف دیکھ رہی تھی اور میں اس سے نظریں چرا رہا تھا۔
” کچھ کہو گی نہیں “ اسے یوں گم صم دیکھ کر مجھے شدید ندامت کا احساس ہو رہا تھا۔
” کچھ کہنے سننے کو اب بچا ہی کیا ہے پانچ سال کے رشتے کو دھوکا دینے میں آپ نے پانچ ماہ بھی نہیں لگائے تو کیا آج میرا کوئی بھی سوال آپ کو اپنے فیصلے سے روک پائے گا آپ مجھے نہیں سمجھ پائے لیکن میں نے آپ کو آپ سے زیادہ جانا ہے ،زیادہ چاہا ہے آپ نے مجھ سے شادی تو کی لیکن نبھائی نہیں ۔ شادی کر نا آسان ہے لیکن اسے نبھانا بہت مشکل جائیے آپ اپنا فیصلہ نبھائیے اور میں اپنی محبت نبھاﺅں گی “ اس نے گھمبیر لہجے میں میری طرف دیکھتے ہوئے کہا اور اٹھ کر کچن میں چلی گئی لیکن اس کی آنکھوں کے بھیگے گوشے میری نظروں سے اوجھل نہیں رہ سکے تھے۔

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میں اپنے بز نس کے سلسلے میں دو دن کے لیے اسلام آباد جا رہا تھا جہاں سے واپسی پر میں مشعل کے ساتھ کور ٹ میرج کرنے والا تھا ۔مشعل کو میں نے شادی کے جو ڑے اور زیور کی خریداری کے لیے پیسے دے دئیے تھے تاکہ وہ ان دو دنوں میں اپنی شاپنگ مکمل کر لے ۔میں اب مزید وقت ضائع نہیں کر نا چاہتا تھا ۔
عائزہ میرا بیگ پیک کر رہی تھی ۔احمد بیڈ پر بیٹھا میرے بیگ کے ساتھ کھیل رہا تھا۔ آئینے کے سامنے کھڑے بالوں میں برش کر تے ہوئے میں تھوڑی تھوڑی دیر بعد عائزہ پر بھی ایک اچٹتی نظر ڈال لیتا تھا ۔میں اس کے چہرے پرکچھ کھو جنے کی کوشش کر رہا تھا لیکن وہاں تو بس پتھریلی چٹانوں کی سی سختی کا تاثر منجمد ہو کر رہ گیا تھا ۔لگتا ہی نہیں تھا کہ اس چہرے پر کبھی کوئی جذبہ دھنک بن کر بکھرا بھی ہو گا ۔عائزہ کا ردعمل میرے لیے بہت حیران کن تھا ۔
” عائزہ !اس رات کو میں نے تم سے جو کچھ کہا تمھیں برا تو بہت لگا ہو گا “ میں نے بغور اس کے چہرے پر نظریںجمائے پو چھا ۔اس کے چہرے پر ایک سایہ سا آکر گزر گیا ۔
” کیا کریں گے جان کر“ اس کے ہاتھ ایک پل کے لیے رکے اور وہ دوبارہ اپنے کام میں مشغول ہو گئی۔
”شاید کچھ نہیں لیکن پھر بھی جاننا چاہتا ہوں“ میں کیوں اصرار کر رہا تھا یہ میں خود بھی نہیں جانتا تھا۔
”برا لگایا نہیں یہ تو میں خود بھی نہیں جانتی لیکن اتنا ضرور ہے کہ اس دن میرا یقین ٹوٹ گیا ۔اگرچہ کچھ مہینوں سے آپ کے رویے میں آنے والی تبدیلی نے مجھے ایسی ہی کسی انہونی کا احساس دلا دیا تھا لیکن پھر بھی میں چاہتی تھی کہ یہ محض میرا وہم ہی ثابت ہو لیکن“ وہ کہتے کہتے ایکدم خاموش ہو گئی ۔
”تمھیںمجھ پر غصہ نہیں آرہا مجھ سے پو چھو گی نہیں کہ میں کیوں ایسا کر نے جا رہا ہوں “ مجھے اس کا رویہ ابنارمل سالگا۔
”یہ سوال تو آپ کو خود اپنے آپ سے پو چھنا چاہیے کیوں کہ آپ سے یہ سوال پو چھنے کا حق تو میں نے اسی دن کھو دیا تھا جب آپ نے ہمارے رشتے کو دھوکا دیتے ہوئے یہ نیا رشتہ قائم کیا تھا اب آپ صرف میرے بیٹے کے باپ ہیں اور کچھ نہیں “ اس نے بیگ کی زپ بند کی اور اٹھ کھڑی ہو ئی ۔
”لیکن تم میری بیوی بھی تو ہو “ میں نے تحیر سے اسے دیکھا۔
” بالکل اسی طرح جیسے آپ میرے شوہر ہیں صرف نام کے “ اس نے جتاتے ہوئے میری طرف دیکھا اور احمد کو اٹھا ئے کمرے سے نکل گئی اور میں ہکا بکا کھڑا اسے جاتے دیکھتا رہا ۔

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عائزہ کی باتوں نے مجھے سوچنے پر مجبور کر دیا تھا ۔اس کا ردعمل اتنا شدید ہو گا،اس کا مجھے تھو ڑا بہت اندازہ تو تھا ۔اسلام آباد میں اپنے کام کے دوران بھی مجھے عائزہ کی باتیں ڈسٹرب کر تی رہیں ۔میںمشعل کے بارے میں سوچنا چاہتا تھا لیکن عائزہ کا چہرہ بار بار میری آنکھوں کے سامنے آجاتا تھا ۔میں اپنی کیفیت کو سمجھ نہیں پا رہا تھا ۔اسی الجھن میں گھرِے میری ملاقات عادل سے ہو گئی ۔عادل اور میں نے یو نیورسٹی میں بہت سا اچھا وقت ساتھ گزارا تھا لیکن ماسٹر ز کمپلیٹ ہو تے ہی وہ اپنے شہر واپس لو ٹ گیا تو کبھی دوبارہ ملاقات نہ ہو سکی لیکن اتنے برسوں بعد اس سے مل کر میں تھوڑی دیر کے لیے اپنی الجھن بھول گیا تھا۔وہ اسلام آباد میں ہی جاب کر رہا تھا اور اب تین ہفتوں کی چھٹی لیکر اپنے شہر مظفرآباد جا رہا تھا ۔عید کے فوراً بعد اس کی شادی تھی ۔اس نے زبر دستی مجھے بھی اپنے ساتھ چلنے پر مجبور کر دیا اور میں اس کے محبت بھرے اصرار کو رد نہ کر سکا ۔
عادل نے اگلے دن صبح گیارہ بجے کی بس سے جانا تھا لیکن چونکہ اب میں بھی اس کے ساتھ جا رہا تھا اور میں نے کبھی بس سے سفر نہیں کیا تھا ،اس لیے تایا جی کے گھر فون کر کے کزن سے جیپ منگوالی اور ہم دونوں صبح چھ بجے کے قریب اسلام آباد سے روانہ ہو گئے۔ یونیورسٹی کے دنوں کو یاد کرتے ، گپیں ہانکتے سفر کا احساس ہی نہیں ہو رہا تھا ۔ابھی ہم مظفرآباد سے دور ہی تھے کہ اچانک جیپ کو ایک زور دار جھٹکا لگا ۔میں اور عادل اپنی اپنی سیٹوں پر اچھل کر رہ گئے ۔ابھی ہم سنبھل نہیں پائے تھے کہ بہت زوردار اور متواتر جھٹکے لگنے لگے جن کے باعث میرا گاڑی کو قابو میں رکھنا مشکل ہو گیا ۔
” شہاب!انجن بند کر دو ۔زلزلہ بہت شدید لگتا ہے “
عادل کی چیختی ہوئی آواز میرے کانوں میں پڑی لیکن اس سے پہلے کہ میں انجن بند کرتا، جیپ ایک زوردار جھٹکا کھا کر الٹ گئی ۔ہم اس وقت جس راستے سے گزر رہے تھے اس کے ایک طرف کی سطح ڈھلوان تھی ۔ جیپ الٹ کر ڈھلوانی سطح کے قریب ایک خاردار درخت سے الجھ گئی ۔جیپ الٹنے سے جو جھٹکا لگا تو عادل اچھل کر جیپ سے باہر جا گرا۔ میں نے تیزی سے آگے بڑھ کر اس کا ہاتھ پکڑا تاکہ اسے گہری کھائی میں گرنے سے روک سکوں اس کو شش میں میری ایک ٹانگ سٹےئرنگ کے درمیان بری طرح پھنس چکی تھی اور میں کوشش کے باوجود اپنی جگہ سے ایک انچ بھی نہیں ہل پایا ۔یوں عادل تو گہری کھائی میں گرنے سے بچ گےامگر اس اچانک حادثے نے میری سوچنے سمجھنے کی صلاحےتےںماﺅف کر کے رکھ دیں۔ مجھے ٹانگ اور کندھے میں شدید درد محسوس ہو رہا تھا جو آہستہ آہستہ بڑھتا چلا گیا ۔درد میری برداشت سے باہر ہو تا جا رہا تھا اور پھر میری آنکھوں کے آگے اندھیرا چھانے لگا ۔تھوڑی ہی دیر بعد میں بے ہوش ہو گیا ۔

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بے ہو شی کے بعد جب پہلی بار میری آنکھ کھلی تو میں نے خود کو ہاسپٹل کے بیڈ پر پایا۔کمرے میں عائزہ بھی موجود تھی ۔ میں نے اٹھنے کی کوشش کی تو کندھے میں درد کی ایک تیز لہر اٹھی اور میں کراہ کر رہ گیا ۔
” لیٹے رہیے آپ کو آرام کی ضرورت ہے“ عائزہ نے جلدی سے میرے قریب آکر کہا۔بے اختیار اس کا ہاتھ میرے ماتھے کی جانب بڑھا لیکن پھر کچھ سوچ کر اس نے ہاتھ واپس کھینچ لیا ۔
”کیا ہوا؟ “ میں نے بہت غور سے اس کے چہرے کی طرف دیکھا جہاں دکھ اور بے بسی کا بہت ہی گہرا تاثر جھلک رہا تھا۔
”کچھ نہیں“ وہ رخ موڑ کر کھڑی ہو گئی ۔
” امی نہیں آئیں؟ “ میں جانتا تھا کہ وہ میرے لیے پریشان ہے لیکن اپنی پریشانی مجھے دکھانا نہیں چاہتی اسی لیے میں نے بھی بات پلٹ دی ۔
” امی اور احمد تایا جی کے گھر ہیں وہ تو کب سے آنا چاہ رہی ہیں ۔میں نے ہی منع کر دیا تھا کہ خوامخواہ یہاں بیٹھ کر پریشان ہوں گی اب آپ کو ہوش آگیا ہے ۔میں انھیں فون کر کے آتی ہوں “ وہ کہہ کر جانے لگی تو میںنے بے اختیار اسے پکار ا۔
”عائزہ!….وہ….“ میں نے اسے روک تو لیا تھا لیکن اب سمجھ نہیں آرہی تھی کہ کیا کہوں ۔میری اس جھجک کا اس نے غلط مفہوم نکال لیا۔
”مشعل ابھی نہیں پہنچی یہاں لیکن کل صبح تک آجائے گی اس کا فون آیا تھا آپ کے موبائل پر ۔میں نے اسے آپ کے ایکسیڈنٹ کا بتا دیا ہے “
وہ کہہ کر تیزی سے کمرے سے نکل گئی اورمیں اسے یہ بھی نہیں بتا پایا کہ میں تو اس کا حال جاننا چاہتا تھا ۔اسے بتانا چاہتا تھا کہ اس سے دور رہ کر میں نے سب سے زیا دہ اس کے بارے میں ہی سوچا ہے لیکن شاید اب کچھ بھی کہنے کا وقت گزر چکاتھا ۔مشعل ہمارے درمیان ایک دیوار بن کر کھڑی تھی اور شاید یہ دیوار اب ہمیشہ کے لیے تھی ۔

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مشعل اگلے دن آئی ضرور لیکن صرف یہ بتانے کہ اب وہ میرے ساتھ نہیں چل سکتی شاید وہ مجھ سے پہلے میرے ڈاکٹر سے مل کر آئی تھی ۔جس نے میری ٹانگ پر پلستر چڑھایا تھا۔ اسے آج میں ادھورا لگ رہا تھا لیکن وہ یہ نہیں جانتی تھی کہ عائزہ کے بغیر میں کل بھی ادھورا تھا اور ہمیشہ ادھورا ہی رہوں گا ۔جس جسمانی ادھورے پن سے ڈر کر وہ مجھے چھوڑ کر چلی گئی تھی وہی ادھورا پن تو اس نے پہلے اپنے لیے منتخب کر لیا تھا۔ فرق صرف اتنا تھا کہ تب میری روح ادھوری رہتی اور شاید اس کے لیے وہ ادھورا پن زیادہ معنی نہیں رکھتا تھا لیکن یہ سب کچھ تب مجھے کہاں پتا تھا ۔میں تو بس ظاہری چمک دمک کے پیچھے بھاگا چلا جا رہا تھا ،بنا کچھ سوچے سمجھے لیکن ہاسپٹل میں گزرے یہ تین دن مجھے اپنی پہچان کراگئے ۔خود اپنے آپ سے متعارف ہو نے کے بعد مجھے احساس ہوا کہ میں تو اب تک خود کو ہی نہیں جان پایا تھا ، خود اپنے ہی جذبوں سے بے خبر تھا اور اب جب اپنے آپ سے ملاقات ہو ئی تو میں نے جانا کہ میں کیا کھونے جا رہا تھا ۔ خود اپنے ہی ہاتھوں اپنی زندگی کو دور کر رہا تھا ۔آنکھوں سے ظاہر ی چمک دمک کا پردہ ہٹا تو ہر چیز نکھری اور خوبصورت معلوم ہو رہی تھی اور شاید یہی احساس میری آنکھوں سے خوشی بن کر چھلک رہا تھا ۔احساس جاگا تو میرا دیکھنے کا انداز بھی بدل گیا ۔میرے اندر ہونے والی اس تبدیلی کا احساس شاید عائزہ کو بھی ہو رہا تھا اسی لیے تو وہ مجھ سے نظریں ملا کر کم بات کر تی تھی ۔
آج بھی میں صبح سے اس سے بات کر نا چاہ رہا تھا لیکن وہ مجھے بات کر نے کا کوئی موقع ہی نہیں دے رہی تھی مزےدیہ کہ ہر تھوڑی دیر بعد کوئی نہ کوئی ملاقاتی چلا آتا۔ امی اور احمد مجھ سے مل کر واپس جا رہے تھے کہ وہ بھی ان کے پیچھے چل دی۔ موقع غنیمت جان کر میں نے فوراََ اسے آواز دی۔
”عائزہ! “ میرے پکارنے پر امی نے مسکرا کر مجھے دیکھا اور پھر باہر نکل کر دروازہ بند کر دیا ۔عائزہ بھی خاموشی سے واپس پلٹ آئی ۔
” جی !“ اس نے بیڈ کے پاس کھڑے رہ کر پو چھا ۔
” بیٹھ تو جاﺅ کیا میں اب اتنا اجنبی ہو گیا ہوں کہ تم تھو ڑی دیر میرے پاس بیٹھ بھی نہیں سکتیں “ اس کے یوں اجنبی انداز نے مجھے بہت دکھ پہنچایا تھا حالانکہ اس کا ذمہ دار بھی میں خود ہی تھالیکن شاید ہم مردوں کی فطرت ہی ایسی ہو تی ہے کہ ہم چاہے جتنی غلطیاں کریں لیکن ہمیشہ اپنی بیویوں سے یہی امید رکھتے ہیں کہ وہ ہمیں معاف کر دیں، چاہے غلطی کتنی ہی بڑی کیوں نہ ہو۔
میرے کہنے پر وہ بیٹھ تو گئی لیکن اس کے چہرے کے تاثرات میں کوئی فرق نہیں آیا تھا ۔
”عائزہ!کیا میرے پاس واپسی کا کوئی راستہ ہے؟“ میں نے بغیر کسی تمہید کے اس کی آنکھوں میں دیکھتے ہوئے پو چھا تو اس نے نظریں جھکا لیں۔کچھ دیر ہم دونوں کے بیچ خاموشی حائل رہی جسے میں نے ہمت کر کے توڑا ۔
” تمھاری اس خاموشی کو میں کیا سمجھوں میں تو آج تک تمھیں نہیں سمجھ پایا تو تمھاری خاموشی کو کیا سمجھوں گا “ میں نے بے بسی سے لب کا ٹے لیکن وہ اب بھی سر جھکائے اورہتھیلیوںپر نظریں جمائے بیٹھی تھی ۔بالکل پتھر کی ایک مورتی کی طرح ۔
”عائزہ !میں مانتا ہوں کہ مجھ سے غلطی ہوئی ہے لیکن “
میری بات پوری ہونے سے پہلے ہی اس نے چونک کر سر اٹھا یا اور غصے سے کہا ” غلطی صرف غلطی آپ نے میرا اعتبار تو ڑا ہے میری محبت کا خون کیا ہے ہمارے رشتے کو دھوکا دیا ہے ایک بیٹے کو اپنے باپ سے دور کیا ہے اتنے سارے گناہ کر نے کے بعد کتنی آسانی سے آپ نے اسے غلطی کا نام دے دیا شادی کے اس رشتے سے باہر قدم رکھتے ہوئے کیا آپ نے ایک بار بھی سوچا میرے بارے میں ہمارے بارے میں آپ نے تو کہہ دیا کہ مجھے کسی سے محبت ہو گئی ہے لیکن اس محبت کو کیسے بھول گئے جوآپ سے پچھلے پانچ سالوں سے شادی کے رشتے میں جڑی لڑکی آپ سے نبھا رہی ہے “
وہ آنسوﺅں سے لبریز آنکھیں لیے میری طرف دیکھ رہی تھی اس وقت اس کے دکھ کی داستان اس کے چہرے پر رقم تھی ۔جسے میں پتھر کہہ رہا تھا وہ تو صرف ایک خول تھا جو اس نے خود کو مضبوط ظاہر کرنے کے لیے اپنے اوپر چڑھا رکھاتھا ورنہ اندر سے تو وہ بکھر کر ریزہ ریزہ ہو چکی تھی ۔
” مجھے معاف کر دو عائز ہ! میں بہک گیا تھا بھٹک گیا تھا مجھے معاف کر دو“ اس کی یہ حالت دیکھ کر میں خود بھی ٹوٹ گیا تھا اور کب آنسو گالوں پر لڑھک آئے، مجھے پتا بھی نہیں چلا۔
”معاف تو میں آپ کو کر دوں گی اس لیے نہیں کہ معاف کر نا ہم عورتوں کی مجبوری ہو تی ہے بلکہ اس لیے کہ محبت کا ظرف بہت بڑا ہوتا ہے اور میں کم ظرفی کا مظاہرہ کر کے اپنی محبت کی توہین نہیں کر سکتی اور ہاںمیں نے آپ کو معاف تو کر دیا ہے پر شاید اب ساری زندگی آپ پر اعتبار نہ کر سکوںاور اعتبار کے بغیر صرف رشتہ ہی نہیں بلکہ محبت بھی ادھوری ہے اور یہ بات تو آپ مجھ سے بھی بہتر جانتے ہیں “ اس نے پُر یقین لہجے میں کہتے ہوئے میری طرف دیکھا اور کمرے سے باہر نکل گئی ۔ میں چاہ کر بھی اسے روک نہیں پایا۔
” شاید اب ہمیں یونہی ندی کے دو کناروں کی طرح زندگی بھر ساتھ ساتھ چلنا ہے۔ ایسے کنارے جو کبھی ایک دوسرے سے نہیں ملتے کل جس رشتے کو میں ٹھوکر مار کر آگے بڑھا تھا، آج جب اسی رشتے نے مجھے ٹھوکر ماری تواحساس ہو اکہ تکلیف کیا ہو تی ہے درد کیا ہوتا ہے “ میں نے تھکے تھکے سے انداز میں آنکھیں موند لیں ۔

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