مسکن / مختصر / چور کی طلاق

چور کی طلاق

چور کی طلاق

دفتر میں کام کرتے ہوئے ایک صاحب کا موبائل چوری ہوگیا …

دن بھر کی مصروفیت کے بعد تھکے ہارے صاحب بہادر نے جونہی گھر کی دہلیز پر قدم رکھا تو اگلا منظر دیکھ کر چونکے بنا نہ رہ سکے …

گھر میں ساس اور سسر … اپنی بیٹی کا سامان پیک کئے ان کے منتظر تھے … بیگم اور ساس کی آنکهیں رو رو کر سرخ ہوچکی تهیں … جبکہ ان کے داخل ہونے پر سسر کے ماتھے پر نفرت کی لکیریں بهی عیاں ہونے لگی تهیں …

"کہاں لیکر جارہے ہیں میری بیوی کو ؟؟ خیریت تو ہے ؟؟ ”

انہوں نے کچھ نہ سمجھنے والے انداز میں دریافت کیا تو سسر نے آگے بڑھ کر ان کی بیوی کا موبائل ان کے سامنے کردیا ….

"میں تمہیں تین طلاق دیتا ہوں” ….

بیوی کو ان کے نمبر سے میسج آیا تھا …

میسیج دیکھ کر صاحب نے ایک ٹهنڈی آہ بھری اور بتایا کہ ان کا موبائل تو صبح سے چوری ہوگیا تھا ….

انہوں نے اپنی جیبیں الٹ کر سب کو یقین دلایا … تو ان کی بیگم اپنی ماں سے لپٹ کر رونے لگیں … اور سسر صاحب نے اپنی ٹانگیں بیٹھے بیٹھے دراز کرلیں ….

"لیکن چور نے میری بیوی کو طلاق کا میسیج کیوں کیا ؟؟؟”

الجھن کے مارے انہوں نے اپنا نمبر ڈائل کیا تو چور نے فون اٹھایا … صاحب چهوٹتے ہی پهٹ پڑے … ” کمینے انسان !! فون چرایا سو چرایا … میری بیوی کو طلاق دینے کیا ضرورت تھی … ؟؟

چور نے اطمینان سے ان کی بات سنی اور کہنے لگا …

"دیکھئے صاحب ! صبح … جب سے آپ کا فون چرایا ہے … مجھے آپ کی بیوی کے چھتیس میسیج موصول ہو چکے ہیں …
کہاں ہو ؟؟؟ …. کیا کر رہے ہو .؟؟ …. کب آؤ گے ؟؟ …. آتے ہوئے یہ لے آنا … اور ہاں یہ بھی … !! …. جلدی آنا !!! …. دیکھو فلاں چیز ختم ہوگئی ہے !!! … میں پاگل ہوگیا … میں نے سوچا سم نکال کر پھینک دوں …

لیکن پهر خیال آیا کہ جہاں آپ نے مجھے اپنے موبائل کی صورت میں گفٹ دیا کیوں نہ میں بھی آپ کی خیر خواہی میں اسے طلاق دے دوں … اس لئے میں نے اسے طلاق کا میسیج بھیج دیا …

اب آپ کی مرضی ہے …

چاہو تو ڈیلیٹ کردو اور چاہو تو ریپیٹ!

*-**-**-*

بارے KAHAANY.COM

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Meta-analiza a studiilor efectuate inainte de 2000 a indicat asociere semnificativa intre consumul complete de cafea si LDL colesterol, mai ales la hiperlipemici, indiferent de tipul de cafea consumat.Am si eu un esspresor Krups,mannequin mai vechi,adus din Germania,care are incorporat in el rasnita,deci nu face cafea decat din boabe.Buticurile de lux din Statele Unite vând, la prețul destul de piperat de 660dolari kilogramul, cafea pe care foarte mulți oameniar putea s- considere absolut scârboasă, ea fiind produsă din boaberecuperate din excrementele unui animal de taliemică, civeta, care trăiește în insulele indonezieneJava, Sumatra și Sulawesi.Ei, bine, râşniţele dintr-un astfel de materials nu sesupraîncălzesc niciodată şi, în plus, sunt silenţioase.Aceste boabe de cafea provin din fructele arbustilorde cafea imbatraniti, care cresc pe ramurile lorexterioare. Lavazza Espresso Crema e Gusto – Gusto Forte este cafea in amestec de20 Arabica si 80 Robusta, ideala pentru un espressofoarte tare si cremos, destinata aparatelorde cafea. Asemănările fonetice dintre cuvântul „cafea” și echivalenții săi europeni (în italiană „caffe”, în franceză „caffé” și „kaffee” în germană,de exemplu), i-au determinat pe oameni să creadă că numele provinedin „Kaffa”, provincie etiopiană de unde cafeaua își trage obârșia.De cum intri, nu doar ca te izbeste pur si simplu mirosul minunat de cafea proaspat rasnita, dar si privirea iti este furata de nenumaratele obiecte mici si delicate care decoreaza aceasta cafenea cocheta: rasnite, saci de cafea, recipiente care mai de care mai interesante, fotografii vechi, cani superbe si alte accesorii pentru cafea si ceai (poti sa si cumperi produse). Marcată de păduri tropicale și munții Anzi, Columbia se mândrește cu numeroase plantații de cafea. Pentru noi, echipa Hedone Cafe, cafea pură, proaspăt prăjită este expresia plăcerii ascunsă în gesturi simple. Raportul mentioneaza ca asocierea dintre consumul de cafea si un risc redus de diabet de tip 2 ar putea fi privit ca neverosimil intrucat consumul de cafea este adesea asociat cu obiceiurile nesanatoase precum fumatul si activitatea fizica redusa.Cafea Arabica de munte preţioasă, cu aromă incredibil de echilibrată şi notă uşor florală. Adesea ni s-a intamplat sa nu gasim cafea buna sau un ceai care sa nu aduca a „compot” langa birou, in parc sau la evenimentele la caremergem. Am fost tremendous dezamagita pentru ca indiferent de tipul cafelei folosite ,si am incercat numai cu cafeabuna,nu am reusit sa obtin crema,caimacul sau cum vreti sa-i vorbesc de spumare saualte lucruri si simplu cafeaua arata precum una fiarta la ibric.Bagel Brunch este un loc cochet si prietenos, situat pe Putul lui Zamfir,unde poti lua gustare delicioasa in pauza de pranz sau a coffee togo.Aceasta franciza isi propune sa ajunga cel mai extinsidea bazat pe comercializarea de cafea. Boabele acestei specii de cafeasunt mici, au forma neregulata si culoare maroniu – galbuie.Clienţii beneficiază gratuit de selecţie de băuturi alcoolice, diversitate de băuturi răcoritoare, specialităţi de ceai şi cafea preparată dintr-un amestec de boabe de cafea personalizat pentru Game World.Dar as prefera sa fie cafeaua buna tot timpul, nu doar dacaanunt ca vreau sa asist la prajire. Spuma, caimacul obținut este la fel de gros și cafeaua la fel de gustoasă fiind potrivit de tare.Astfel de cafea provine din America Centrala, mai precis din Guatemala, Costa Rica,Columbia si Mexic, si din Africa.Boabele care au un aspect puternic gras pot indica fie faptul că a fost prăjtă prea mult, fie căa fost depozitată într-un loc prea călduros. Qualita Oro de la Lavazza este cea mai apreciata cafea din gama celor destinate consumului acasa saula birou! Vinuri de exceptie, soiuri uncommon romanesti de la crameexclusiviste, un meniu agreabil si accesibil, un decor city-sofisticat, echipa tanara, vesela si bine instruita – iata reteta de baza cu careWinestoneVictoriei 37 se diferentiaza in peisajul restaurantelor din Bucuresti.Calculand pentru ceasca de 200ml, cafeauala filtru contine one hundred fifteen-175 mg cofeina, aceeasi cantitate de espresso cam ahundred mg, cafeaua la ibric 80-a hundred thirty five gr iar ness-ul sixty five-one hundred gr, conform Asociatiei nationale americane pentru bauturi non-alcoolice.Astăzi lucrurile astea par mofturi pentru că e mult mai simplu să cumperi un pachet vidat de cafea gata măcinată.De solul in care creste: calitatea cafelei Arabica sau Robusta depinde de tipul de sol in careeste cultivata. Vei gasi acolo cateva persoane care si-au exprimat multumirile si nemultumirile cu privire la acest mannequin deespressor. Diferenta ar consta in cafeaua folosita, in mod conventional, la preparareacafelei. Franciza de cafenea The Espresso Shop isi propune saajunga cel mai extins idea bazat pe comercializarea de cafea.Cei de la UPC spun ca serviciul Wi-Free are acoperire desute de mii de hotspot-uri in Romania si ca este disponibil si in milioane de alte puncte deacces in Europa, in tarile in care activeaza compania mama a UPC, Liberty World.Fata de generatia anterioara de espressoare Dolce Gusto, acesta are un raportimbunatatit intre partea superioara si cea inferioara siun finish cu elemente metalice, mai de calitate. Iar reziduurile decafea sunt bogate în numeroase minerale, mai ales calciu şi fosfor, de aceea se folosesc ca îngrăşăminte.Cratița se pune pe foc și se lasă până atinge temperatura de a hundred and fifteen grade Celsius.Aparatul iti va asigura necesarul zilnic de cafea de calitate, preparand totodatasi cappuccino sau caffe latte. Este foarte interesant si faptul ca poti prepara doua cesti de cafeasimultan, functie utila atunci cand toata familia prefera cafeala micul dejun sau dupa pranz.Dar exista metode de a minimaliza si mai mult orice pericol, oricat de redus ar fi el.Si anume: cafeaua pe care cumparam ar fi de preferat sa fie cat mai calitativa (culturi bio sau, celputin, foarte atent selectionate), boabe (aparatele disponibile pe piata si cele folosite dejain multe cafenele si nu numai au dispozitive de macinare), sa fie consumata fara zaharsi fara alte produse adaugate (frisca, pudre). Ceasca mica ce va concentra in continutul ei toata priceperea prepararii acestui gen de cafea.Cafeaua Arabica este originara din Africa, din Abisinia ( actualmente Etiopia), este cel mai vechisi mai raspandit soi de cafea din lume si din ea se poateobtine cafea naturala de inalta calitate fara a fi necesaraadaugarea de aditivi.Sa numesti cafea „braziliana” pare lipsit de sens avand in vedere varietatea foarte mare disponibila. Multe date cumparat ieri un Gaggia Dose si se pare ca trebuie sa inlocuiesc tamperul si sitele. Rezultatul acestor eforturi este cafea unica, fabuloasa, cu un gust echilibrat, cu un superb buchet cu nuante de florale si citrice, cu usor distinction intre lamaie, ciocolata si caramel, fiind una dintre cele mai rare si, implicit, cele mai scumpe cafele din lume. Cu toate ca Robusta nu este cafea preferata pe piata cafelelor connoisseur, ea este folosita ca baza excelenta in amestecurile de espresso pentru a imbogati gustul cafelei.Bobul de cafea este de culoare verde în inside, acoperit de pelicula subtire argintie, peste care se afla un învelis pergamentos de culoare galbena spre bruna. Arabica si robusta sunt cele mai domesticate si comercializate soiuri de cafea din lume. De cele mai multe ori proportia de cafea Robusta din amestecuri este de 10-15 pentru a nu pune in umbra aromele delicate ale cafelei Arabica. Astfel, la temperatura de one hundred grade C, culoarea boabelor de cafea devine bruna si acestea încep sa-si mareasca volumul, raspândind deja mirosul de cafea prajita. Iar unul care prăjeşte loturi mici poate obţine dintr- Robusta de calitate cafea semnificativ mai bună decât cea pe care vând brandurile mari în pachete lucioase pe care scrie cu fonturi mari 100 Arabica”.Când condiţiile climatice nu erau favorabile, culturile de cafeaaveau de suferit, producţia scădea drastic, iar preţurile la bursa cafelei creşteau spectaculos.Acasă, cafeaua poate fi pregătită la ibric (turcească),la filtru, la espressor, la presa franceză, machinetta sau jebena.Pun 7 sau 10 grame de cafea, în funcție demetodă, apă – ninety de grade, timp de extracție – 2 sau 4 minute.Savoarea cafelei vă aminteÅŸte de ceva anume?Poate avea doararomă subtilă de citrice care însoÅ£eÅŸte, ÅŸi când spunem asta, nu spunemcă acea cafea ar avea aromă de grapefruit ‘ gustuleste tot cel de cafea. Combinatia unica intre doua tipuri de Arabica si nivelul optim de prajire, fac din QualitaOro sa fie medaliata cu aur in categoriasa!Un alt sortiment de cafea macinata care are in principal un amestec de soiuri Robusta dar care a fost completata cu 25 cafea Arabica de origine brazilianaeste CORTINA Café Basic. Eu am incetat sa-l mai folosesc la cateva luni dupa ce am achizitionat espressorul, precisedin acelasi motiv. Ma intreb de ce furnizorii de cafea, cum ar fiIL CAFE, nu promoveaza cafeaua prajita proaspat.În timpul prajirii, boabele de cafea îsi modifica culoarea în functiede temperaturile la care sunt supuse. Pentru prepararea cafelei vietnameze avem nevoie de un filtru special de cafea, șicafea de cicoare sau cafea normală. Desi pretul este unul mare,mult peste medie, pentru un birou unde se consuma industrial este alegere inteleapta.Aroma este deosebita, iar la formarea ei contribuie peste forty de substante care exista in cafeaua cruda sau se formeaza prin prajire.Eu am abonament de 30lei si mi-au spus ca trebuiesa mai platesc inca 10lei pe luna pt stick. Se ia ibricul şI semăsoară apa cu ceaşca cu care se bea cafea, cam 50 ml.Se pune la fiert. Adevaratii iubitori de cafea cauta intotdeauna magazinele connoisseur in care se vindecafea artizanala. Lungo Leggero este cafea foarte aromată, în care seevidenţiază observe florale delicate, de iasomie.Europenii au extins zonele lor de cultura (in Asia,America si chiar Oceania), contribuind in acelasi timp si la raspandirea obiceiului de a bea cafea.Aceasta cafea nu este prajita, pentru a-i conserva intreaga putere de arderea grasimii. Pentru a determine daca cafea este buna sau nu trebuie sa cunoasteti cateva tehnici folosite de cei mai mari cunoscatori de cafea.Trebuie să montezi crema corect pentru cappuccino, spuma ajunge la 70 de grade Celsius.Cafea buna si atmosfera mai gasiti in La Cafenescu, Picasso sau in Studio Cafe,despre care am mai pomenit si cu alte ocazii. După fermentare, boabele de cafea sunt spălate, uscate și introduse în instalații de decorticare 12 ,unde în final boabele capătă un aspect lucios. În calitatede consumatori de cafea, auzim de multe ori despre aceasta cafea sălbatica”, sau modul rustic în care, în normal, cafeaua este de obicei crescuta în Etiopia, şi ne simţim bine din punct de vedere ecologic savurand aceasta cafea etiopiana.Excluzând leii şi girafele, Blake Dinkin, fondatorul firmei Black Ivory Coffee, a observat că boabele de cafea sunt delicatesă pentru elefanţi, al căror stomac, spune el, acţionează asupra boabelor ca oală sub presiune, iar acizii specifici digestiei atenuează amăreala cafelei. Pentru fiecare dintre noi cafeaua înseamna altceva, mirosul de cafea ne starneste fiecaruia amintiri diferite, poate conversaţie cu câţiva ani în urmă cu un prieten drag alături de nelipsita ceaşcă de cafea, sau dimineaţa minunată alături de persoana iubită îmbiată de mirosul boabelor de lapte, zahăr, miere, sau neidulcită, cu toţii suntem într- măsură sau alta dependenţi de cafea.

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